How to set personal boundaries with technology to improve your well-being

Identifying, setting and communicating your boundaries is crucial to maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care. However, it can be difficult to identify what your personal boundaries are and know how to communicate them clearly and effectively in your relationships.

These tips will help you use technology to gain the confidence and knowledge to identify, set and communicate boundaries for better wellbeing.

Why boundaries are important to your well-being

Boundaries are personal boundaries that you create to protect your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. You can use boundaries to define your needs, values ​​and priorities.

If you don’t have clear boundaries in your personal life, your mental well-being can be affected. You may feel resentful, anxious, disappointed, or angry when your limits have been pushed. The benefits of setting boundaries include:

• Better self-awareness. Understanding your personal needs, values, boundaries and priorities, and knowing how to communicate them can improve your happiness and reduce stress.
• Independence. Setting boundaries can give you a sense of true autonomy over your decisions and life (especially if you struggle with codependency).
• Improved relationships. Setting boundaries helps you conserve emotional energy and reduces feelings of resentment or anxiety as you set healthy expectations with your loved ones.
• Reduced stress, anxiety and overwhelm. Saying “no” to certain things and conserving energy to say “yes” to others will give you a sense of control over your time, emotions, and decision-making—reducing the likelihood of overwhelm.

Setting boundaries is about ensuring you have respect from others, but it’s important to set healthy boundaries the right way. As Chase Hill, author of “Healthy Boundaries,” puts it: “A healthy boundary is one where you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, feelings, and the word ‘no’ so you can appreciate closer connections.”

With that in mind, follow these steps to set healthy boundaries in your personal life.

1. Identify your needs, values, and boundaries with a wellness tracking app

To successfully set boundaries in your personal life, you need to know what your needs, values ​​and boundaries are. Using a comprehensive health tracking app like Bearable can help you set boundaries by identifying the factors that cause you anxiety, anger, or overwhelm (ie the areas of your life where boundaries are needed).

To use Bearable to identify your needs, values, and boundaries, follow these steps:

1. Follow your mood and emotions. Tracking how you feel throughout the day can help you identify when or where you experience negative emotions. Add your thoughts to the Voting, Symptomsand Energy Levels sections to create an insightful logbook.
2. Explore your habits and activities. The Factors section (located within the At home tab) you can add details about recent events, your routine and lifestyle factors that may affect your mood and energy levels. Use this to identify which activities support and which have a negative impact on your well-being.
3. Identify your needs and limits. Use the Insight tab to compare your mood with your lifestyle factors to help recognize potential triggers. Here a picture of what boundaries you need can start to become clear.

Tracking your feelings, symptoms, and lifestyle factors on Bearable can help you identify which behaviors, situations, or people make you uncomfortable, anxious, or stressed. Bearable can also help you determine when you’re feeling low or tired, which is when you might need to set a physical boundary to rest or take time for yourself.

For more tips on how to use the app, check out our article on how Bearable can help you monitor your well-being.

Download: Bearable for Android | iOS (Free, subscription available)

2. Mind-Map your reasons for needing boundaries

Once you have identified your needs, values ​​and boundaries, you should have a clearer picture of where you should set boundaries in your personal life. The next step is to reflect on your reasons for your boundaries.

Using a mind mapping app can help and Mindly is a straightforward app ideal for the job. To create a boundaries mind map with Mindly, follow these steps:

1. Open Mindly and tap on the plus (+) icon to start a new mind map.
2. Give your map a title (eg “Boundaries”).
3. Tap the tap icon to create your map.
4. Tap a + icon to add your first reason for creating a boundary (eg “I feel burnt out by saying yes to too many social events”).
5. Tap the tap icon to save your border reason.
6. To add border ideas and continue building your mind map, tap the plus (+) icons to add your thoughts on where you need boundaries and what boundaries you can set.

Using Mindly, you can map out your reasons for needing boundaries and start brainstorming to establish boundaries.

Download: Mindly for Android | iOS (Free, in-app purchases available)

3. Try one limit at a time and Journal Your Progress

The idea of ​​setting boundaries can be overwhelming, so having a solid idea of ​​what your boundaries are and how to verbally communicate them is an important step to take.

Journaling is not only a proven way to improve your mental health, but it can be instrumental in helping you establish and communicate clear boundaries. The Halo: Mindfulness Journal app is an ideal tool to help you write down the boundaries you’ve just mapped out and increase your confidence in setting them.

Halo: Mindfulness Journal also offers a variety of features that can help you increase your confidence and self-awareness as you set your limits, including:

• Daily journaling habit requests. The app encourages you to check in every day by answering requests to the Voting, Gratitudeand Reflection functions. By identifying what makes you feel good and what wears you down, you can identify areas of your life where you need to set a boundary.
• The Library tab. Learn how to reflect, appreciate and improve relationships, develop self-love, and more through short journal assignments.
• Journal entries. Navigate to the Today or Entries tabs to add a simple text-based journal entry. Use this space to write out your boundaries and reflect on how you feel about them.

If you​​​​are still stuck on how to identify boundaries, try one of Halo’s wellness courses. Build trust is a crash course in journaling that can help you identify what makes you feel good and what brings you confidence. Alternatively, Calming anxiety has a specific focus on setting boundaries to help you understand you.

Download: Halo: Mindfulness Journal for iOS (Free, subscription available)

4. Practice self-care to build a strong foundation

It’s a good idea to make self-care a daily habit while learning to set boundaries. Self-care can help reduce stress, boost your mood and improve your overall quality of life, and can be a great support if you find setting boundaries challenging.

Carving out time for yourself can act as a boundary in itself, especially if you live with others or if you struggle to relax outside of work or responsibilities. If you​​​​​​are not sure what to do with yourself during your downtime, you can try an app designed to build your confidence and improve your overall well-being, like ThinkUp.

ThinkUp offers daily positive affirmations and practices that will help you establish positive self-esteem. It can also help you achieve a sense of self-competence, which is a crucial confidence-building attribute when setting boundaries.

Download: ThinkUp for Android | iOS (Free, subscription available)

5. Talk to a therapist if you need help setting boundaries

While self-care apps and hobbies can help boost your confidence, improve self-awareness and highlight your values ​​while setting and maintaining boundaries, sometimes human support is still needed. Therapy and counseling apps are great for supporting mental health, and a qualified therapist can help you identify, create, and set boundaries.

BetterHelp is a popular therapy app and online platform that is ideal for talking remotely with a licensed counselor. You can find a professional who matches your needs and specializes in relationships and boundary settings. It’s also easy to switch advisors if you don’t make progress with your first match.

Download: BetterHelp for Android | iOS (Free download, subscription required)

Establish boundaries and your well-being will improve

Setting boundaries is about protecting your well-being while valuing your relationships. Remember to start by identifying your reasons for your limits and gradually establish them as you build your confidence. Try to be consistent with your boundaries and protect your well-being by prioritizing self-care during the process.hre.